There's a gun in the bathtub and a hammer on my head

There must be an unwritten rule that says a Mom's life is not supposed to be easy.

Yesterday was an officially unofficial "Bicker Day" in my house. We celebrated well into the night while my brains slowly leaked down the back of my neck.

My three precious wee ones chose to argue over lint, the weather, Monopoly money, who got the first whatevertheheckitwas and other intricacies of life.

I threatened to run away, sell them to a traveling gypsy, run away (they would find me and bring me back) and finally bring the hammer down - on my own head to put me out of my misery. I believe at one point I begged for someone to kill me or kidnap me but even strangers wouldn't get near me - they were afraid of the kids.

My life is stupidly interesting - who knew a boring life could be so exciting?

Case in point: For the last week I have had a recurring thought each time I step into the shower. It is: "I wish someone would move that gun."

Gun? In the shower? Yep. Only in my house.

You see, my brother gave my kids a water pistol that resembles a real pistol and of course they've enjoyed the thrill of the hunt with this gun. When they got finished with it the other day somebody threw it into the bathtub - where it stayed.

So for the last week every time I have stepped into the shower I have seen the gun and had the same series of thoughts: "I wish someone would move that gun," followed by "I wish someone would clean this shower."

Wait, clean the shower? Oh - that's my job. Which is why I wish someone else would do it.

Lo and behold - it happened though. Not the clean shower - the gun was removed! Hurrah! Huzzah! Whatever.

It now sits on my bathroom sink.

So now my thought process is "I wish someone would move that gun" followed by "I wish someone would clean the shower" with "I wish someone would clean the sink" close on its heels (and a slight aftertaste of "I wish someone would clean this bathroom.")

Where's that hammer?

What am I thinking today?

Not much.

It's a beautiful day outside and I'm in a funk. I've been stuck in funk for a few days now and I need to get un-funked.

Tomorrow I get the chance to get out of the house (and away from the computer!) to visit with real, living, breathing people who call themselves my friends.

I can't wait, but I hope it's not raining so our plans will be able to include playtime for the kids at the park.

Ahhh, I know - I'll pray for a butterfly - that always unsticks the funks in my life.

I love butterflies and seeing one is always a reminder to me that God loves me and nothing in my life is bigger than that fact.

I hate feeling yucky!

That's exactly how I feel today, though. Yucky. Miserable. Tired. Ready to go back to bed.

I'm supposed to be writing today - I have lots to get done, but I just can't think very well and I feel like a giant slug. Here's a poem I wrote to describe how I feel.

Why, oh why
do you betray me
flesh and bone and gray matter?

You cage and enrage
the real me
keeping me at your mercy
and beck and call

You scream at me
to sleep
to nap -
I must obey

I will pout -
incapable of ignoring
couch lure
while the keyboard
calls longingly
begging for my stroke

Oh to have such masters!
My body betrays me
and
chooses
the spinning wheel prick
- no guilt
sweet dreams
while the keyboard sobs
and plots revenge

Amusement parks, wooden roller coasters and near-death experiences

I just posted a slideshow and an article on my AC page about our trip to Holiday World Splashin' Safari in Santa Claus, Indiana.

I hate wooden roller coasters, but I decided to give not just one, but two wooden roller coasters a go while at Holiday World. Stupid, stupid me. My trip on the wooden coasters is the basis of my article - so have a read and tell me what you think.

Will I ever go on another wooden roller coaster? Nope. Never. Ever.

Lord help me - it's a slumber party!

My two daughters are having a slumber part at our house tonight with two of their friends.

That means four girls in our house - ranging in ages from 7 to 12. It's not the first time we've done this and I love having a house full of kids, but I do need strength. Maybe another round of Diet Dr. Pepper to bolster my strength!

Animal Week on Tammy Planet

This has been quite a week for animals in distress.

First, Monday morning I was out for my morning walk and spied a turtle trying to cross the road. He was stuck in the middle of one lane while traffic tried to dodge him while trying to also dodge me.

I was sure he was going to splattered at any moment. When I was able to get close enough, I darted out into the road (no traffic nearby!) and grabbed him, then moved him the three feet he needed to go to the side of the road. I hope he didn't try to venture across the road again.

That evening as I was walking in front the driveway, I heard a kitten crying. I grabbed a flashlight then headed in the direction I heard the noise. Eventually I found myself in the neighbor's yard where a tiny, black and white kitten sat crying forlornly. As soon as he saw me and heard me talking to him he stopped crying and sat waiting for me to get to him.

I knew my neighbor didn't have any cats or dogs so I picked up the little guy. He was pitiful: One eye was matted shut and he was nothing but a tiny bag of bones covered by some furry skin.

I took him in and we cleaned him up and tried to get him to eat. We fixed him a box with a warm blanket lining it. The next day I bought some kitten replacement milk for him and we tried to get him to eat that. I had seen this illness before in a kitten and knew what the outcome was going to be - but I wanted to try.

We called him Moses - because I had found him. Unfortunately, Moses didn't make it - on Friday morning we found that he'd died in the night. He was with us such a short time but he quickly made a spot in our hearts. We thought that Thursday he was getting better and seemed to be trying to eat. He was even following us around the yard when we'd take him out to play.

The animal rescues continued with a baby guinea keet that fell into my mom's garden pond and almost drowned. She fished it out, and cleaned it up but the mother wouldn't let her get near to put the little guy back. I started thinking about her cat (who is actually my cat) snacking on the little guy (popcorn chicken snack!) - so I told her to bring him to me and I'd try to nurse him back to health.

I'm passing him off to someone else today (woohoo!).

I need to work on having a cold, black heart of stone instead of the gooey, mushy soft one I have.

Nice little vacation

Had a nice two-day vacation with the family (including my parents) this past week. We went to Holiday World/Splashin' Safari in Santa Claus, Indiana.

It was a nice trip and the kids had a great time - actually, we ALL had a great time! I'm currently working on some articles for Associated Content about Holiday World and the hotel we stayed at - Santa's Lodge.

We only had to travel about two hours away from home - which made this an easy-on-the-budget getaway.

Keep watching my AC page to catch the articles when they are posted!