There's a gun in the bathtub and a hammer on my head

There must be an unwritten rule that says a Mom's life is not supposed to be easy.

Yesterday was an officially unofficial "Bicker Day" in my house. We celebrated well into the night while my brains slowly leaked down the back of my neck.

My three precious wee ones chose to argue over lint, the weather, Monopoly money, who got the first whatevertheheckitwas and other intricacies of life.

I threatened to run away, sell them to a traveling gypsy, run away (they would find me and bring me back) and finally bring the hammer down - on my own head to put me out of my misery. I believe at one point I begged for someone to kill me or kidnap me but even strangers wouldn't get near me - they were afraid of the kids.

My life is stupidly interesting - who knew a boring life could be so exciting?

Case in point: For the last week I have had a recurring thought each time I step into the shower. It is: "I wish someone would move that gun."

Gun? In the shower? Yep. Only in my house.

You see, my brother gave my kids a water pistol that resembles a real pistol and of course they've enjoyed the thrill of the hunt with this gun. When they got finished with it the other day somebody threw it into the bathtub - where it stayed.

So for the last week every time I have stepped into the shower I have seen the gun and had the same series of thoughts: "I wish someone would move that gun," followed by "I wish someone would clean this shower."

Wait, clean the shower? Oh - that's my job. Which is why I wish someone else would do it.

Lo and behold - it happened though. Not the clean shower - the gun was removed! Hurrah! Huzzah! Whatever.

It now sits on my bathroom sink.

So now my thought process is "I wish someone would move that gun" followed by "I wish someone would clean the shower" with "I wish someone would clean the sink" close on its heels (and a slight aftertaste of "I wish someone would clean this bathroom.")

Where's that hammer?